This is it.  It’s the final hand.

I’ve begun writing the results and discussion section for my thesis.  The capstone.  It’s a strange feeling to see time roll out before me punctuated by very real deadlines that will define a transition period in my life.  In 26 days it will be Renn Fayre; my thesis will be finished.  In 29, it will be Orals week, and I will defend that thesis in front of my professors.  In 44 days, God willing, I’ll graduate, and in 47 days I’ll be in Alaska.  On paper it looks like a lot of time.  In reality, frustrated by the sheer number of things that have to be accomplished in the interim, it feels like I’ve got about 2 weeks before Alaska.

It’s odd to now distill the work of an entire year into about 10 pages of text.  Unlike time, the efforts of a year look so truncated on paper.  Is this really how I’ve spent in excess of 400 hours this year? Is this all that I have to show for it?

Not really.  What I’ve gleaned from the project was a sense of the process (Reader vomits).  I began in September incompetent in the laboratory and irritatingly uninformed on the subject of my research.  Now I know exactly how incompetent and uninformed I am– little has changed but the self-awareness that comes from long nights repetitively moving around billionths of a liter.  Oh, and I’ve discovered that my personality is not well suited to the type of science that I’ve chosen.  This has perhaps saved me a misguided trip to grad school, to my parents’ chagrin.

It’s a sad thing though, that so much effort won’t produce any real results.  Sure, I can write for ten pages about how I tried, but who wants to read that?  Especially since, as I’m sure you can tell, I’m not writing very well at the moment.

It’s time to shoot this horse and end the thing.  Both this post and my thesis have gone lame.  I leave you with some interesting search terms that directed traffic to my blog today:

Two of these I understand. But Tall Porch?

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